The problem with expecting too much
The first time I made cold calls to some prospects, I wired my brain to claim the right that people have an obligation to like me and be nice to me. Unfortunately it didn’t happen! I spoke to different kinds of people, the nice, the arrogant and even those that literally barked at me over the phone. That experience flashed reality right in my face. We often expect people to like us, but well not everyone does. People rarely behave exactly the way you want them to. That is a fact we have to live with. You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your worth. No matter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who criticizes you.
We expect people to suddenly change: We often expect people to change all of a sudden. If there’s a specific behaviour someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and let this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.
Truth remains that you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try. Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them. It might sound harsh, but it’s not. When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change them – when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they are – they gradually change in the most beautiful way.
We expect people to know what we are thinking: People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your Oga in the office? Yes, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That pretty lady
wearing a Brazilian hair you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy? Yes, you guessed it, she hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given her the time of day either.
In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And often, you have to open your
wallet mouth and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.
We expect people to fit our ideas to who they are: Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves. When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate them.
Pay close attention, and respect people for who they are and not for who you want them to be. We don’t know most people half as well as we believe we do; and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them wonderful. The more you get to know someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and see the beauty of who they truly are.
We expect people to agree with us: I’m guilty of this sometimes. People must not agree with you. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, and others are not here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else.
You have to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t get discouraged by their progress or success. (One day you sef go hammer). Follow your own path. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.
The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations, especially in our relationships and interactions with others.
Not expecting too much from people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter.
What do you need to stop expecting from others? Share with us!